Friday, July 8, 2022

RIP Rukmani Patti

Rukmani Patti's 90th birthday

This morning, my aunt called me to say that Rukmani Patti* (my *maternal grandmother) had passed on to the other side, peacefully in her sleep.

This news wasn’t exactly shocking since I had visited Patti just a few weeks ago when doctors had recommended palliative care.

The 91 year old feisty lady had lived a full life, experiencing the joys, trials and tribulations of an eventful life before settling down with her daughter, granddaughter and great-grand daughter.


Rukmani Patti with her Daughter, grand and great-grand daughter

My earliest childhood memories were of spending summer vacations visiting Patti and cousins down south, while our lives took us around the country wherever my dad happened to be posted. In the nineteen-seventies, Patti even boarded a flight to far-away Bagdogra to be with us while my mom gave birth to Manoj, my younger brother. Mind you, this was a generation before commercial aviation took off in India and Air-travel was really a novelty.

Born to a Brahmin agriculturalist family in the small southern town, she was married off to a reputable government contractor. The couple was blessed with three kids, including my mother who was the eldest. Life took an unexpected turn for Rukmani when her husband passed away, leaving the young widow to fend for her three little  kids.

Destitute, with few social benefits, Rukmani wasn’t going to be bowled out by this curve ball life had thrown her way. Demonstrating grit and determination, she focused on ensuring her daughters and son got a strong educational foundation. Even far back in the sixties, the astute widow realized that a solid education would be their salvation.

My dad, then a newly commissioned officer in the Air Force, who was related to Rukmani set his eyes on her eldest daughter. It was love at first sight and they tied the knot when my mom turned nineteen.

With the eldest daughter married off, Rukmani focused on the other two kids – the daughter joined the Indian bank after graduating with honors, and the son went on to serve in the Indian Income tax department.

Patti also came and lived with us for a couple of years after my mother’s untimely death providing much needed moral and logistical support to my newly widowed dad. After spending a couple of years, nurturing my brother and me through the loss of our mom, Rukmani Patti went on to live with my aunt, taking care of my young cousins too.

My life and career took me globe-trotting and meanwhile I would periodically catch up with Patti during visits back to India.

Vijay and I catching up with Patti during a recent visit

She continued to be mobile through her eighties, spending time with her great-grand-daughter. A couple of months ago, a fall during her morning stroll knocked her down and she didn’t get back to her old self even after surgery and therapy.

I visited Patti a few weeks ago, when they were getting ready to move her to Madurai to spend her sunset days with her son. In the back of my mind, I knew it may be the last time I’d see her, and sought her blessings.

Until next time Patti. I’m sure you are smiling back from ‘up there.’  

RIP Rukmani Patti

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